“It shouldn’t take me long, honest,” I tell the LTLP.
For a while, Short Tony and I have been talking about constructing a special door to allow the chickens out to play in the woods. Now that the weather is more DIY friendly, we have decided to grasp this particular nettle by the horns, and even now Short Tony is standing beside the back fence brandishing an electric drill.
The LTLP gives me her ‘there are about 10000 DIY jobs that need doing and that have needed doing for ages and that I have been going on and on at you to do but that you haven’t done because you say that you have been too busy whereas now you seem to have all the time in the world to create some ridiculous and unnecessary piece of engineering for the chickens who you love more than I do it seems well I am not going to say anything but frankly I am not impressed’ look.
I shrug weakly. I am a bit intimidated that she is able to condense all those particular facts and feelings into one single look, although it cannot be denied that it is handy for the narrative.
“It won’t take us long,” I insist. “And you will understand when it is finished. All we need to do is to somehow rig up some clever door or hatch arrangement which will let them through to the woods. Then they can go and peck about to their little hearts’ content, before slipping back through when it’s their bedtime.”
I give her a reassuring pat on the arm.
“Plus with our DIY skills we will be creating a classy and interesting feature for the garden, creating a practical yet aesthetically pleasing focal point that will sit in harmony with its surroundings and add value to the setting,” I add.