The LTLP turns to me. “Can you just have a look at it and make sure there are no obvious mistakes?”
She gives me her ‘I might regret this’ look, that I remember from the Registry Office.
I nod readily. I have always enjoyed helping the LTLP with her science and stuff, and it is always very important to peer review data as espoused by people like famous media scientist Ben Goldacre etc. She is off to do sciencey things in Bristol, and has to take a PowerPoint presentation with her.
I study the slides. To be honest, it is all quite advanced stuff, about science, which you would not understand. I query some of her data.
“Look, I just want you to tell me if there are any obvious spelling mistakes that I’ve missed,” she says.
“I am just trying to undertand the whole, and look at the entire presentation with a holistic approach,” I reply, giving a diagram a critical look. “Now be quiet. It is difficult to check your work when there are distractions.”
Ice crystals form in the atmospheric interval between us.
“Look, I’m sorry I asked now.”
I wave her away. “I am almost finished,” I reply.
I finish checking the presentation with my scientific eye.
“It looks very good to me,” I report, turning to her. “It seems clear and to the point, and there are few of the distractions that you often see on PowerPoint documents. As far as I can establish, the science is sound. However, looking at this slide, I am afraid that the graph looks a bit like a cock.”
“You what?” she replies.
“This graph here,” I indicate. “Where the bell curve thing is quite narrow, and then you have ringed the points at each end. It looks a bit like a cock.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake.”
“I guess my suggestion would be to consider expanding the x axis so that the curve is broader and less tall, and then it would be a little less -”
“Just give it here,” she snaps.