“It wasn’t you then?” I enquire.
“No. I’d have needed to ask what buttons to press and all that.”
I’ve been writing this for almost six years now. Occasionally, funny things happen. Bizarre, flattering, alarming, lavish or just plain barking mad things. Like Simon from Hungary’s bizarre Private Secret Diary lawnmowing stunt (sorry – can’t find the exact link). Or the mind-boggling A-Level Mock Exam incident.
I can’t recall anything that would have taken anybody so much time as this.
“It definitely wasn’t you?”
“I don’t know whether to be pleased, or go on the witness protection scheme.”
[Travel reportage fans do not fear, I shall be continuing ‘Across Tennessee. By Kia’ very shortly, where I will detail how I discovered the REAL America.]