We stay in London.

Rather than risk missing the Eurostar train on Monday morning, we decide to stop off in the capital for the night. London! City of Pepys and Ackroyd, cradle of all that is enlightened in the history of Western intelligent man! I book the hotel myself.

It is right next to St. Paul’s Cathedral. I have not used this hotel before, but being right next to St. Paul’s Cathedral is about the best location that you can get. The history of Smithfield and Clerkenwell a short walk north; the oft-neglected back streets of the City all around; the bridge ‘cross the river to the south. Honestly, being right next to St. Paul’s is brilliant. I cannot think of a single disadvantage at all.

We walk across the footbridge to the Tate Modern. I have had an idea that I would like to show the Toddler the Tate Modern, as it is full of colourful eccentric things that she might like.

There are all sorts of cheap shots that I could make at modern art, but this is not really my style. I do not really like to do juvenile material.

Nevertheless the Tate Modern visit is not a success, mainly because it is impossible to explain to a three year-old why a piece of art based on the design of a children’s play area is not, in fact, a children’s play area. Also, it is possible to buy a two-volume hardback on the cultural significance of crisps to the development of twentieth-century pop culture, but no crisps.

We make an early return to our hotel next to St. Paul’s Cathedral, excited about the week ahead. The LTLP is keen to get a good night’s sleep to set her up for the journey.

It is not to be. Until midnight, on a regular basis, she is rudely awakened by a giant dong.

13 thoughts on “Mouse #1

  1. “It is not to be. Until midnight, on a regular basis, she is rudely awakened by a giant dong.”

    Gnurff, gnurff, fnarr, fnarr!

  2. Phil says:

    Too much information.

    How was the room? Was it quiet?

  3. Diana says:

    Wow!! and on a regular basis,eh?

  4. Mr Angry says:

    And the award for the 2009 Double Entendre of the Year goes to…

  5. Rudely but not necessarily unpleasantly. These premium London hotels do really think of everything to surprise and delight their guests! I wonder how they phrased that particular item on the room service menu?

    Speaking of which, what exquisite pampering were they able to offer you, Jonny, while your deeply frustrated non-wife enjoyed her executive relief in the adjoining room? Retro Pac-man games on a flat screen TV, accompanied by piped surround-sound Tull? Seems only fair that you too should get something involving 24 inches, even if it was only the screen…

  6. Brennig says:

    Was just wondering whether said giant dong was all part of the service or if you had to pay extra for the ahem service?

  7. Pat says:

    Oh Jonny ducks – what a clanger!

  8. tillylil says:

    That ‘giant dong’ would be Big Ben then!

  9. Ellie says:

    Will you please find out if the giant mice men twitter?

  10. ganching says:

    ….so what happened after midnight?

  11. Oli says:

    I can vouch for the horrors of living next to religious establishments, especially at 10 – 11am on a sunday morning when I can be found leaning out of my window yelling and swearing at the bell ringers as I try to appease my hangover from the previous nights binge.

  12. guyana gyal says:

    And you slept through it all?

Comments are closed.