Out of Office Autoreply.

I am going on holiday!!!

To a world-famous tourist destination that features grown men dressed up as giant mice. Truly my life has changed over the past three years.

It might be fun, although looking at the travel website it already appears that I’m going to have to change from the Eurostar at the Isle of Wight, get a bus replacement service to Calais then wait for another train on to the Disney place. But there will be giant mice when we get there, so that’s OK.

See you when I get back.


I’ve not really pushed this before as I never quite understood it, but shedloads of people have suddenly started following me on Twitter, the short message thing started by Stephen Fry. Twitter is a bit of a problem for me as it eats material – traditionally, some small vaguely interesting thing would happen to a writer and they could pad it out to at least 600 words split across two posts; worded cleverly this would generate ninety-odd comments, a book deal and a TV series starring Billie Piper. Now you just tell everybody on Twitter and it’s gone.

Anyway, I’m using it a bit more these days. Think of it as exclusive previews of forthcoming padded-out 600 word posts.

The subscribe link’s at www.twitter.com/jonnyb

I will probably not get as many followers as Stephen Fry, but I can try. I could be the Norfolk Stephen Fry. That is my aim.

I will not be Twittering from my holiday as the LTLP would get cross.


  1. Admit it. You *are* Stephen Fry, and this whole blog is just a creative writing exercise. Just like mine.

  2. You will surely twitter while on holiday…

  3. Surely Stephen Fry is already the Stephen Fry of Norfolk…

  4. Everyone else seems to be heading for Norfolk today. We ‘ent seen traffic like it since last time we saw traffic like it.

  5. There are grown men dressed as lots of things at Disney.
    You’ll fit in very well there.
    How many pairs of pants are you taking?

  6. Should be a nice change for you, mingling with grown men dressed as giant mice. Back home, all you have are real giant mice. And rats. And Satanists. And misfits stabbing prostitutes left and right. I mean to say, sure it’s colourful, but is it really touristy? Don’t see anyone charging for entrance to Norfolk, do we? I rest my case…

  7. Have a fun holiday Jonny – you’re not supposed to say anything substantive on twitter really – just like ‘I’m having a poo’ and things like that.

  8. Another holiday, eh? Don’t forget to batten down the chickens before you go this time.

    I’m pretty sure Disney has upgraded its business model, Jonny. Now the place is teeming with grown men dressed as Hannah Montana. (What is it with Disney and vermin, I wonder?)

  9. S’okay, I’m the world’s worst Twitterer ever. I’m actually a twatterer.

  10. What are you going dressed as?

    Oh, see how the Toddler is influencing where you go and what you do? And she ain’t done yet. One day, she will make you wear a tutu and dance for a school show.

  11. I am not twittering. Ever. BTW the place you’re visiting sounds the sort of place the Toddler would like. Maybe you should consider taking her next time.

  12. Twitter? Oh no, not you too.

  13. I saved a passed out drunks life in disney land a few winters back.

    Fond memories of me being absolutely sh*tfaced in that place!

    Pretty soon I will be in america so will be able to go over to disneyland florida and get horrendously drunk there as well!

    Freelance Writer

  14. Golly! That was… expensive.

    I am back safe and well. It was okay and no police got involved.

  15. B-b-b-b-but, that’s ab-b-b-broad.

    In f-f-f-f-foreignland.

    We’m don’t do that from the country!

  16. Gawd. What does “twitter” even mean. I still don’t know!


  17. Goddamnit I need daily posts to keep me entertained at work!

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