Crisis of confidence yesterday. Have I done/am I doing the right thing?!? Where is my life going?!? Etc etc. So the LTLP suggests we sit down, relax and watch ‘Cats and Dogs’, which is described by The Guardian as a ‘decent family comedy’.

True, perhaps, if you happen to be the Mong family from Basildon. I stare at the screen in bewilderment and black depression, as the dogs frolic around the screen with their amusing and wacky antics. I literally, yes literally, hold my head in my hands as they speak to each other using that ‘animate the mouth’ computer technique that they developed a couple of years back and then proceeded to use in every other sodding TV commercial for everything from booze to financial services. I smile when the mice are introduced. Perhaps I am more of a mouse person.

Every single ad in the breaks features either a cat or a dog. Clearly the media buyers worked overtime to come up with that idea – people watching the film are likely to be cat or dog lovers and therefore… etc etc.

I have nothing personally against dogs. Apart from two things:

They are unable to control their bowels;

They give me asthma.

I realise that there is a risk in posting this. That is, everyone that ever makes a mild criticism of our doggie friends, ends up with their personal details in a long file entitled ‘nazi dog haters – eliminate’ in some nutter’s shrine, who then proceeds to write abusive letters to them, send anthrax etc. Well I don’t have anything against dogs, as long as they keep themselves to themselves and don’t crap on the footpath.

I have nothing personally against cats, either. Apart from two things:

The bowel problem, as before, although admittedly not as bad;

They give the LTLP asthma.

Mice are OK. I’m easy with mice.