I set out in the car.

It is a nice afternoon, but I have no time to dawdle.

I am running a little late to pick up Child #1 from school. Again!!! Anybody would think that her arrival home is not the sunshine-drenched peak of my day.

The lane is single-track; it pootles along through farmland and coppices. I drive happily, listening to the hard-hitting sounds of Steve Wright in the Afternoon.

Ahead of me, I can see a Range Rover emerging tentatively from one of the tracks that leads on to the fields. The road is narrow at this point, and the track joins it at a slightly acute angle. The driver misjudges this a little and thus requires two attempts to turn, which means that they are stationary and blocking the road by the time I reach them. Not being in my enormous old gas-guzzling 4×4, I do not have the option to drive up on to the banked verge to give way.

The other driver, who turns out to be H.M. The Queen, looks a little sheepish at this. I am also a little foxed. It is my right of way in the big scheme of things, but then it is her highway. Fortunately, H.M. The Queen clearly feels the same, and turns to her companion in the passenger seat with one of those universal ‘oh dear, I really buggered up that manoeuvre’ embarrassed little laughs. She then grapples awkwardly with the steering wheel, and pulls the Range Rover up onto the verge to let me through.

I draw past, giving her a little fellow-driver ‘we’ve all been there’ wave of acknowledgement. I imagine that she was probably distracted by the non-stop oldies or suchlike. It is good to know that with all the talk of road rage etc. etc. there is still a little courtesy amongst our drivers.

22 Comments

  1. Fair play to the old girl to still be driving at 85.

  2. Who wants to read about polite exchanges?

  3. Not only are you blogging royalty, JonnyB, but now you are mixing with the proper kind. I am very impressed.

    Do you think she was on her way to view your rare bird?

  4. I believe the correct etiquette is to poke a stick through the window.

  5. Let’s hope she’s not also one of those 85-year-olds with a penchant for driving along at 20mph on the wrong side of the road…

  6. I’d send her a copy of the book, just so she can mark the occasion of tangling with a celebrity.

  7. Wait… this can’t be right… I’ve never yet read anything about the queen that didn’t include a description of her headgear. Cough up the details on the hat if you want any sort of credibility.

  8. Pingback: On the Queen’s Highway

  9. Megan, if she was in a Range Rover surely it would be headscarf and wax coat, goes without saying!

  10. Who the hell listens happily to Steve Wright?

  11. Big enormous gold crown, Megan. That should put your mind at rest.

  12. Might be worth taking a quick shufty down the track she was pulling out from…. Fly tipping is rife these days, and since you got such a good look at her, you could probably pick her out from a line up.

  13. And there were no polite but hard eyed young men with a suspicious bulge near left armpit accomanying her?
    Though I believe your police carry machine guns these days.

  14. H.M. the Queen on the country roads again?

    Nah nah, this is a pre-April 1 tale.

  15. Muskets, John. This is Norfolk.

  16. So you spent the three weeks since your last post in the Tower, then? Mooning her as you went past was probably not the wisest choice. This isn’t the Eighties any more, after all…

  17. I’m sorry Jonny, but using “I was detained by Her Majesty” for being late to collect your child from school is a waste of a good excuse.

    Far better to wheel that one out when missing the LTLP’s birthday, I would have thought.

  18. Pootle? Is that in the dictionary?

  19. I saw her Maj up near Crathie church in her limo, and couldn’t understand why I didn’t get a look of delighted recognition when I waved to her.

  20. Hell. You’ve upped the stakes there and no mistake. Suddenly my recent two-minute conversation with Amelia the singer from Talulah Gosh doesn’t seem quite so blogworthy. She wasn’t even driving a Range Rover.

  21. I imagine you still pootling merrily along…actually, grumpily, because the children are tired and want to be in bed.

    Or are you now having tea with H.M. The Queen, with the children playing quietly with toys provided by palace staff?

  22. One acknowledges your comments, thank you.

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