Bird #4.

We are in the Village Pub.

“I cannot believe you did not notice them,” I scold Short Tony. “There were thousands of photographers, with their long lenses. Hundreds and thousands of them.”

Incredibly, Short Tony has been oblivious to the presence of the rare Gribledy-Grob bird that has been visiting the tree in the front of my garden. He just does not take an interest in important Village affairs like this. Anybody would think that he has some sort of proper job, a social life, etc.

“To be honest, that seems a bit dodgy,” he reflects. “Pointing cameras up at the front of the house. My teenage daughter’s window is up there.”

“It is all right. You cannot look into her window without climbing up on a stepladder to see over the hedge,” I reassure him.

We discuss the Gribledy-Grob for a while. It has been an odd experience, with the fame of the bird spreading round the UK and beyond. I am even number one on Google now for the rare Gribledy-Grob – higher even than the RSPB. That is the power of blogging. But the madness seems to be over now; the bird has not returned to my tree for many days.

The next day, a man calls at my door.

“Have you any tree or garden work that needs doing?” he asks. “I am in your area now.”

I scratch my chin.

“Actually,” I reply, “this is a stroke of luck. There is a tree in the front garden that needs pruning. Severely.”

We agree a price and he turns to go to his van. “While you’re there,” I add, “you could take that hedge down a bit.”

8 Comments

  1. Pervert.

  2. It’s a pity that teenaged girls do not typically show any interest in rare birds.

    You need to find a way to entice Justin Bieber to sit in your tree.

  3. If you’re going to start any “bird-watching” of your own, Johnny, best ensure that there are no limbs left on your tree sturdy enough to bear the weight of your well-lynched corpse. Fortunately that should not be an issue, given your prosperous waistline and the fact that the mighty redwood is a stranger to Norfolk’s sandy shores…

  4. I’m a bit worried for you, JohnnyB.

    Haven’t you heard how devious teen girls can be?

  5. you might be in dead trouble when all those long lenses find you have done in the birds resting spot.
    Best spead the word that the teen age girl had words to say with her dad about all them dodgy picture takerers.

  6. Sharpens shears….

  7. Word to the unwise – short people might not be immediately physically intimidating, but they are better positioned to do debilitating damage to… shall we say some of the lesser known ‘bits of Norfolk.’

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