“Stoppit! Stoppit!” I shout, as the big chickens peck furiously at the scrawny one.
I wave my arms in their direction. The big chickens skulk away. They are like all bullies, who are cowards and run away if you stand up to them, apart from the ones that were at my school.
I tramp off to see Short Tony, keeping an eye on the perpetrators as I leave.
“There is bullying in the henhouse,” I report to him. “The Light Sussexes were assaulting the small one with a wonky comb.”
“Samantha Sad?” replies Short Tony. He calls the weak, scrawny chicken ‘Samantha Sad.’ I think this might be contributing to its self-esteem issues.
“That’s the one,” I confirm. “No wonder it has been hiding in the henhouse all day. I lifted it out as I was a bit fed up with its insipid behaviour. But the other chickens just started attacking it.”
We consider this for a while. Chicken bullying is a problem that we have not faced before, and we are at a bit of a loss as to how to address it.
“I suppose I could get some posters made up,” ponders Short Tony. “To try to make them realise the pain that they are causing.”
“And to let them know that we have a zero-tolerance policy towards bullying in the henhouse,” I agree. “Either that, or we could shoot the smaller one and eat it.”
This is good. Nobody can say that we are not problem solvers. We have been faced with this difficult issue, and already we have come up with two excellent solutions.
“I will keep an eye on things,” I promise, as I take my leave. Bullying is not big and it is not clever, and being a chicken is no excuse.