A couple of dates for your private secret diaries…

If you’re in or around Norfolk:

I’ll be at Waterstone’s, King’s Lynn on Saturday 7 August between 11.00-1.00 , signing books and generally saying ‘hullo’ to people. I know it’s a big county – but if you’re within striking distance then do pop in and introduce yourself. The shop’s in Norfolk Street, right in the town centre.

Even if you’ve already bought a book, pop in anyway and buy somebody else’s book, and I’ll sign that instead. My mother-in-law has already embarrassed me outside the shop by shouting ‘looklooklook that is your book in the window oh lord and a thing with your name on and everything look look everybody why are you running away?’

If you’re in or around London:

I’ll be at the George in Great Portland Street on Saturday 24 July from 3pm onwards. (Lord! Next Saturday! Details and map here.) This is not a signing books thing; nor is it a big deal sort of do; it is just me going to the pub. There will hopefully be some other interesting bloggers/Private Secret Diary readers/friends of mine there as well. The chickens cannot make it.

If you’re in the area and want to come in, say ‘hullo’ and have a pint then please do! Bring a friend if intimidated. Of course also I will sign anything you want, probably with greater and greater enthusiasm as the afternoon wears on. I don’t get out much.

Enjoy your weekends and I hope to see you there…


30 thoughts on “Private Secret Personal Appearances.

  1. Deirdre says:

    Were the chickens’ diaries full?

  2. tillylil says:

    Hope you have long queues around the block.

  3. Martin Q says:

    I shall try to be at the George*. After all, I recently dreamt that I did attend your signing (in Manchester, I think) and you were quite a friendly person (though notably non-Essex compared to your radio voice) so on the basis of that I don’t think I shall be too intimidated. Any chance of you being there a little earlier (e.g. 2pm)? I’m a social butterfly and already have something at 3.

    *Does this make me a stalker?

  4. JonnyB says:

    Deidre, the chickens are being kept within the confines of their toilet seat at present, as they are in disgrace for not laying.

    Martin: Surely you put the asterisk against the wrong sentence in your comment there…?

  5. SophieW says:

    Given that I inadvertantly ordered two copies of your book from Amazon (other online retailers are available), so perhaps you could sign both? I gifted on to my Dad – as they play village bowls too. Not sure about the sex and rock n roll though


  6. SophieW says:

    P.S Am very much enjoying aforementioned book. Favourite line so far was the one about the labrador ‘just going with the flow’

  7. spazmo says:

    …pop in anyway and buy somebody else’s book, and I’ll sign that instead.

    Naturally, I’ve already ordered your book, but my pocket volume of “Mein Kampf” IS getting a bit dog-eared…

    See you at Waterstone’s!

  8. Martin Q says:

    Yes, I did consider moving the asterisk but then decided I liked it where it was. After all, I found the dream at least as unsettling as you undoubtedly did. When your post says “bring a friend if intimidated” I suddenly wonder if that’s me, you or the friend who is most likely to be intimidated by my attendance at the drinks.

    I take it by your silence that that’s a ‘no’ to the earlier 2pm appearance?

  9. What a coincidence, Jonny! As a matter of fact, I shall be making a rare personal appearance of my own at the Paddy’s Hollow in the Cotton Exchange, Wilmington North Carolina, at 3pm Eastern on Sunday. Feel free to pop in with a copy of your book so I can sign it for you. That will give it rarity value compared to all the ones you’ve signed, tho’ of course it will still not be as rare as copies that have actually been bought by readers…

  10. Dave says:

    It is a long way to Kings Lynn from the south of the county. Not that I’m worried about my carbon footprint, you understand, merely the price of petrol.

    Perhaps you could put a copy of your signature up here, so that we can print it off and stick it in the book of our choice/cheque/deeds.

  11. Lisa says:

    Hi Jonny, can’t make either date but just finished your book and enjoyed it tremendously.

    Are the chickens eating enough high protein food? Mine started laying fewer eggs when I changed to a new food they didn’t like and wouldn’t eat.

  12. Ann of Brisbane says:

    Would love to meet you in King’s Lynn (or London for that matter), but it’s a long way to come from Brisbane.
    Once stayed in the Youth Hostel at King’s Lyn (a marvellously ancient building as I recall) and also remember the beauty of swans in the moonlit water. So long ago it seems like a dream…..
    Good luck with your book and I love the blog.

  13. Linda says:

    When you are booked into a bookstore in Paris let me know. I will even buy your book so you can sign it.

  14. Megan says:

    Wait. They let you out? TWICE??

  15. Richard says:

    I’m afraid I can’t make King’s Lynn either. I’ve often been to that pub, although not for about 20 years. Damn.

  16. Z says:

    I won’t be able to make it either, though I am so disorganised that I still haven’t got around to giving friends the extra copies of your book that I wrote (given that you are young enough to be my son, I feel I have a sort of vicarious maternal responsibility for you, so must make the book a best seller) so it would be no end jolly to have them signed. If you could check with me before booking, next time, I’ll give you a list of convenient dates. And preferably in Jarrolds of Norwich.

    The chickens are probably moulting or broody. Ours aren’t, we’ve got dozens of eggs and are selling the surplus. I have almost earned enough to pay for multiple copies of your book.

  17. Dave says:

    Z wrote your book?

    I hope you’re paying her royalties, Jonny.

  18. Greg says:

    I bought mine from Amazon in France. Any chance of sending it to you to be signed? Big ask I know but I could include some other peoples’ books for you to sign too.

  19. Womaninblack says:

    I cannot believe that you haven’t written an ENTIRE POST about the forthcoming interview with the UK Columnist of the Year for the Best Selling UK Regional Newspaper. Surely this is the pinnacle of your entire career, if not life?
    I interviewed another author, you know, and they wrote about it before, after and during. Maybe not during. After the piece appeared, they topped themselves, realising it was all downhill from then on. I’m just preparing you.

  20. JonnyB says:

    SophieW – thank you! I will basically sign anything, as you will have read by now.

    Spazmo – ditto, and also please do wear your SS uniform.

    I will have to ask the publisher for some expenses to go to France to meet my French fans. A weekend in Paris should do it. I will see what he says. Or I could just say HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA now and save myself the trouble.

    And ditto two weeks in Brisbane. But thanks Ann…

  21. JonnyB says:

    Womaninblack – I have set up a new secret special blog that is solely devoted to it. This place seemed inadequate somehow.

  22. Hilde says:

    If Paris, I offer you the B&B so that’s one part off the expenses!

  23. Pat says:

    Well done that boy. If it were Minehead I’d be there in a flash. Remember you can’t afford to get big headed (anymore that is:))

  24. JonnyB says:

    Paris B&B – tick.
    Travel… – do any readers drive the Eurostar? Would be happy just to sit in the cab – don’t require first class etc.

  25. craig in brisbane says:

    ann has been far too polite.
    if your book tour does not come to brisbane i’ll be very upset.
    how can you sleep at night?

  26. ajb1605 says:

    I’d have come, but a trip to That London takes weeks of planning.
    And packing!
    Spare clothes to change into when pigeons poo on you;
    Packed lunch to prepare as no-one from outside That London can afford to eat there – and anyway, The George stops serving food at 2, according to Google Maps;
    Route planning, to get from Kings Cross to wherever using as few Underground lines as possible;
    See? You don’t think of these things when you say “come to That London and have a drink”
    Mind you, it’s easier to get to than Kings Lynn!

  27. guyana gyal says:

    I’ll jump on my special private jet to get there. See you soon.

    I think you should take the chickens, they’ll help you get quite a bit of attention.

  28. I swoon with excitement for I shall also be in That London on Saturday and was wondering what to do of an afternoon when I found this post.

    I shall do my best to be at the George and am practising the best way to nonchalantly ask for an autograph.

    How will I recognise you, though, without the chickens?

  29. JonnyB says:

    Hullo UT – you would be welcome!!! Probably by the smell of chickens.

    But also we will be on a big table at the back (or two small ones).

    I might have to get a notice made up…

  30. Damian says:

    It was great to see you today and catch up with everybody.

    Thanks for organising it.

    I am disappointed not to have won the picture of your chicken though.

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