The Vegetable Delivery people have gone broke. I read the letter with sadness. Life in Brown’s Britain is hell. They are a victim of the economic downturn. Woolworth’s, MFI, The Vegetable Delivery Service. It is like all the icons of British retailing are collapsing around our ears.

Granted, their lettuces were occasionally less crunchy than credit itself, and there was the odd inappropriate substitution: parsnips for jerusalem artichokes; courgettes for radishes; a Vegetable Delivery Man (with a beard) for the fit Vegetable Delivery Lady. But they were a nice little business that deserved to do better.

They encouraged me to eat vegetables, by the simple fact that they appeared at my door every Thursday morning. Now I will have to buy them from a shop, and let’s face it, I will never bother to do that, as they are vegetables. Booooo, boooooo and triple booooooooo.

The Cider Delivery Service dropped round some free cider at Christmas to say thank you for my custom. I hope they are OK financially. To lose both vegetables and cider would cut the heart from the community.

I carry my final box indoors sadly, and wave goodbye to the Vegetable Delivery Lady. We have had some great times together, but I suppose all good things must come to an end.

29 thoughts on “The Vegetable Delivery Service Ends.

  1. Fee says:

    First! And if mine goes bust I’ll cry.

  2. carnalis says:

    This is terrible news.

    Mine seem to be still solvent .. but i have to go and pick up my box myself, so perhaps their costs are lower. I shall keep my fingers crossed that this virus does not spread west – I would never have made parsnip cake if it weren’t for inappropriately large and rustic root veg.

  3. norfcoast says:

    Dreadful business root crops at the moment.If it’s not the weather it’s the EU pesticides thing, lorryloads of ’em coming over from Poland etc etc.

  4. Hfactor says:

    Grow your own, Jonny. That is my master plan this year as I gradually morph into Felicity Kendal. I have chickens, and excellent wellies, and the style-free hair and ruddy cheeks are coming along nicely. I am also contemplating pigs.

    I would stop by with a box of spares (veg, not pigs), but I’m not sure 200 miles counts as `locally sourced’.

  5. Richard says:

    This could of course be an opening in the market for you. How about growing your own veg and selling them on ebay thereby saving the village post office. This needs to be thought through.

  6. Z says:

    Please find a local greengrocery shop and give it your custom. Or it may well go the way of most of the village post offices. One of Norwich’s vegetable wholesalers ceased trading yesterday because there aren’t enough independent greengrocers left.

    Er, sorry, I got all intense for a minute there.

  7. tillylil says:

    Buy locally and don’t let Tesco’s rule the world!
    Five a day Jonny and that is veggies and fruit I am talking about.

  8. A black day for connoisseurs of melon-related humour world-wide, Jonny. This was about the only thing keeping 100% of your double-entendres being dreary “going for pink and potting the brown” Snooker-smut. At least try to work in some Cider Delivery puns in future for the sake of variety. I’m sure a bright boy like you can think up something to do with scrumping, for a start…

  9. admin says:

    I will get them from the market and from the farm, like I do my meat – do not worry. I only really go to the supermarket for dishwasher tablets and nappies.

    It is snowing!!! I am excited.

  10. Jennyta says:

    That is very sad. So many small businesses are going under while the fat cats in the world of finance continue to prosper regardless.

  11. Save Our Deliveries!

    I thought for a moment – you were excited by the dishwasher tablets and nappies.

  12. pinklea says:

    A few of those home-delivery vegetable companies have recently gone broke here in my part of the world, too (Vancouver, Canada). I wonder if it’s because the world economy is currently so crappy so all costs went up. Or maybe people just don’t like vegetables any more?

  13. AndyB says:

    I can see you and the LTLP changing your names to Tom and Barbara. And next door could become Margot and Short Jerry. (Non-UK contributors, don’t even bother to try and understand that one!)

  14. admin says:

    I think it is well-documented that people turn to meat and pies in a recession. Vegetables will always suffer.

  15. Megan says:

    AndyB – we get it, truly we do, only ’round ‘ere it was called Good Neighbors instead. I have friends whose first glimpse into adolescence wasn’t Annette (’cause I’m not THAT old) but Barbara – particularly when in pig-tails or on the one where she was losing her voice and got all raspy and romantic over Douglas the Bean. In fact, one friend gave up on red-heads and went for nothing but blondes for a year based solely on Barbara tossing ‘come on then, take me!’ over her shoulder.

    JonnyB – this is just one more sad example of the way small towns are losing heart and hope to the remorseless anonymity of the large city. Keep a sharp eye on Short Tony who will doubtless be nationalized within the week.

  16. dudeguy says:

    It’s ok to have a comment.

  17. zed says:

    OH NO!

    But I agree with Hfactor – grow your own. Toddlers love watching the ‘growing process’ and then picking them when ready. Well, at least my first two did.

    And growing asparagus is great fun. So fallic.

  18. Pat says:

    Faint heart! Where’s your fighting spirit. Time for another anthem – it worked for the Post office.

  19. adrian says:


    My sister the seamstress swears by scrumpy as a cure for any minor work based accidents she has.

    Every time she gets a prick in her hand, she puts in cider.

    (Will that do?)

  20. admin says:

    Puts IT!!! Puts IT!!!

    Pat – that had not occurred to me. But The Streets are not in the fashion now – who would I have to copy the sound of? Lily Allen?!?

  21. You could get recording contract. Then you’d be more than able to afford Tesco Delivery Service.

  22. Pat says:

    Yes I remember you have the same sort of gentle voice as Lily. And I should change the name – maybe something like Elbow.

  23. Icy Mt. says:

    @Ivan #2
    Our local orchard is owned by the Dickens family. Every year when the apples come in we have to take grandma out there. She can’t go more than a year without some good hot Dickens’ Cider.

  24. tuesday kid says:

    That sucks. Start stealing it off government farms.

  25. norfcoast says:

    Couldn’t they do mail order veg to cut down on distribution costs and potentially open up a global market, carrots to anywwhere there’s a post etc..?

    They do it with oysters from Norfolk.

  26. christian says:

    I used to delivery leaflets, and to be honest my experiences were far less enjoyable than yours! The amount of houses were dogs would just sit and wait, completely silent, and then when the tips of your fingers were in the letterbox – woafff a dog attack!!

  27. A.Boxer says:

    I’d say you’re ready for a promotion.

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