I look up from my lap top computer, which I have casually sneaked a peek at in the midst of emptying the dishwasher.


“You’re not doing nothing! You’re doing something!”

“I’m just footling,” I explain.

“Stop footling. You’re always footling.”

“I’m not footling,” I clarify.

“What are you doing then?”

I close the lap top screen. “Somebody sent me an email,” I explain. “Which I was – dealing with.”


“It was an email!” I protest.

“Can’t you just save your footling until we’re not on holiday?” she demands.

“But when I’m on holiday is when I have time for footling!” I reprotest. “When I’m not on holiday, I’m busy doing… stuff. And stuff.”

The LTLP fixes me with a glare.

The Private Secret Diary remains closed for the Christmas and New Year Holidays. It will return next week, barring illness/travel problems on the route out of the Village towards where she works.

25 thoughts on ““What are you doing?”

  1. First!

    Just footling around in the comments.

  2. NAGA - Is On Holiday says:

    But sneeked a peek and feels real bad about it.

  3. Linda says:

    Footling?? Is this yet another English word that I don’t know the meaning of? I gather it means sneaking peeks at the computer?

  4. Snowbabies says:

    Same here, pretty much banned from footling most of the time. Just never knew what it was I was banned from before, nice to have a name for it!


  5. AndyB says:

    Is anyone getting the impression the LTLP isn’t actually aware that she IS the LTLP?

  6. I’ve not noticed any lack of footling during normal office hours, Johnny. After all, when are you not on holiday?

    Truth is, you’ve dissolved what miniscule reserves of diligence remained to you in booze, and are trying to blame the LTLP for your lack of posts. There’s no need to slander the poor girl, honestly. It’s not like we care.

  7. Pat says:

    Footle: trifle(about), play the fool, trivial, silly.
    Sounds about right. Carry on Jonny!

  8. sablonneuse says:

    Maybe the LTLP wants a bit less footling and a bit moe handling?

  9. guyana-gyal says:

    If you have wireless, how ’bout sneaking the laptop away and footling in the loo…?

  10. tillylil says:

    You mean to say the LTLP doesn’t know about your secret diary. Wait till she finds out wot you are really up to. You mught get a ‘footling’ up the jacksi!

  11. JonnyB says:

    Oh goodness yes she knows about it, although she’s not really interested unless there are jokes about pooing. She hijacked it a few years back after reading it and discovering unfortunate things about cleaners.

    But I am not really here. Or footling.

  12. john.g. says:

    Footling is a great word! May you continue, but not in the loo as GG suggested as that may seem strange.

  13. So what does LTLP think about your blog? (I say this because in my mind she is superwoman)

  14. Hilde says:

    Footling sounds as a “soft kind of victimizing”. The quality of your blog is able handling this.

  15. NAGA - Is On Holiday says:

    The LTLP cannot possible be ‘superwoman’.

    That would make Jonny a footling Superman, which just wouldn’t be footling right.

    Why were you making a trifle in the dishwasher anyway?

  16. Ole Phat Stu says:

    My, my,
    we ARE under the thumb aren’t we 😉

  17. footling .. any thing like footsie? but above the table, rather than below?

  18. Debster says:

    Nice to see who is the boss …

  19. omykiss says:

    sorry jonnyB but I just have to point out that the Scots have an even better word for footling … it’s footering. My mother called us kids wee footers …. maybe she invented a new word?

  20. guyana-gyal says:

    But John G, don’t you know JonnyB wrote the best wee ‘n’ poo stories? [Before Yaxlich came along and took away that honour…but Yaxlich is no more…where IS Yaxlich?]. So here’s JonnyB’s chance to be the best loo poster again.

  21. JonnyB says:

    Footling time!!!

  22. Pat says:

    Let’s footle again – like we did last summer.

    Sorry it just came over me.

  23. Col says:

    A marvellous blog and I’ll be linking to it from my own feeble effort which now, thanks to you, seems even more stuck in the footlinghills of blogland.

  24. JonnyB says:

    Hullo Col and welcome!!! And thank you.

Comments are closed.