I receive an unexpected banjo!!!
Inside my large package is another large package. This secondary package is oddly quadrilateral – a familiar shape to us musical people, familiar with oddly quadrilateral boxes. But it is too thin for a guitar. I tear at the parcel tape with ravenous fingers.
The contents reveal themselves in their banjoness.
“But… why… how?” I goggle, ogling at its chrome fittings and immaculately varnished neck. I have not ordered a banjo from anywhere. I would have remembered. Perhaps someone has sent it to me as a threat.
“It’s a present. For looking after me.”
I gaze at the LTLP thunderstruck. She has bought me a banjo, for looking after her after she was run over!!! This is clearly the most beautiful, loving, selfless, thoughtful, wonderful gesture that has ever been gestured by anybody ever. I want to throw my arms around her and tell her one thousand times how much I love her. But I have a new banjo, so I fuck off into the living room to play with it.
Dwonggg! it goes. Dwonggg! Dwinggg! Dwinggg!
Its form is unfamiliar, but I will soon get used to it. I have a banjo!!! A proper banjo!!!