I have some Easter visitors!!!

“We won’t get in your way,” announces my mother. “We’re going to go for a long walk today, aren’t we?”

My father nods, to cover an expression that is just the forlorn side of miserable. “Mmm,” he enthuses, like a man who has not only lost a shilling but found sixpence, but who has just been beaten with sticks and poked in the eyes by the man whose sixpence it was. He goes to fetch his coat, arthritically.

“Your father gets so tired these days,” she sighs, as she traces the route on the map. It is across about 27 folds. My offer to drive them to one end is accepted.

“I haven’t been in an open-topped car for years,” shouts my father, his enthusiasm levels suddenly boosted as the wind howls around our heads. “Probably since we were married.” A shadow momentarily darkens his face. I point out interesting sights as we speed through the Norfolk countryside.

” !” shouts my mother from the back seat.

“What???”

” !”

I look at her in the rear-view mirror. She has her coat pulled right round her and is huddling low, clutching her bag and hat. I’m sure there have been colder pensioners, but only as subjects of local TV news items that feature a neighbour explaining: “I went round there two years ago, but there was no answer so I assume she’d moved.” I decide that we had better get there as soon as possible, and put my foot down accordingly.

We arrive at our destination, one of the fashionabler coastal villages. Being Easter Monday, it is full of the okay yah contingent. I cruise through town with my shades on and deposit my pensioner cargo at the beach.

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