There is a tap on the window!!!

I am sitting in the driver’s seat, waiting for the LTLP to return. Outside, a blur of Christmas shoppers swarm round the town square car park. A face peers through at me from the cold. I am not expecting a window-bound tap followed by a face peering at me in the privacy of my own car, and it catches me a little by surprise.

It is a good job that I am not masturbating.

An old lady stands there, slightly dishevelled, mouthing words at me through the glass. I try to catch her drift, but my lip reading skills are not up to it. She tries again. I scrabble for the keys and switch the ignition on, in order to lower the window.

Kids these days do not realise how impressive that would have once been. It is a shame.

“De ya wanna boi sam o’moi lucky eather?” she asks (note that is in an Irish accent, not me spelling things wrong).

I am a bit thrown by this and ask her to repeat herself, which she does, adding the phrase “genuine Romany it is”.

I decline the lucky heather.

“Will ya hev yer fortune red then?”

I decline a fortune reading.

The old lady scowls at me and mutters something as she takes her leave. She approaches no more cars. I shake my head in some bewilderment. My plan earlier had been to get up, buy some vegetables and perhaps a hotdog, and go home for a lazy day.

Instead I have had a curse put on me, which was not an expected thing to happen in Fakenham town centre.

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