“All I am saying is that it is extremely unjust.”

I was having an animated conversation with Narcoleptic Dave and Big A in the Village Pub. Throughout my life I have always tried to stand up for what I believe is right, even if it means being unpopular (although not very unpopular, I would draw the line at that).

“Oh, I agree with you,” said Narcoleptic Dave, taking a glug of Stella from his glass.

The Well-Spoken Barman arrived at our table bearing a bowl of hand-cooked crisps. We tried to gloss over the fact that Mrs Narcoleptic Dave had fallen asleep.

It was frustrating, however. Knowing that Miriam from ‘The Apprentice’ had been unfairly sacked, and not being able to do anything about it.

“I liked the way,” I continued, “that she was very magnanimous afterwards. It was just like Nelson Mandela when they let him out of prison. But without Tracy Chapman doing a concert.”

Sometimes it is very disheartening having a widely read Internet Web Log. Even though I have lots of people who hang on my every word and would do anything I told them to, I feel impotent and helpless. It is a bit like the bit in the Superman film where he got cross then sort of span the world backwards to change things. Except I do not have super powers. (Except invisibility).

But what can I do? I don’t know. I must have lots of readers at the BBC and at Amstrad who can change things. The final show is being filmed tomorrow, there would still be time for a production assistant to run round to her house and say: “oh golly Miriam, we’re sorry, when he said ‘you’re fired’ he didn’t mean it, it was one of the others really.” And everybody would understand and the BBC would come out of it very well.

If this happens then I promise to watch the BBC all the time in future.

And buy lots of cheap shoddy electronic goods.