I leave the bookies, pleased with my selection.

Owner: Mr G Factory
Trainer: Mr P Chum

But there is one more thing I need to do while we are in town. I have to buy some sporting equipment!!!

“Are you sure Nike don’t make bowls shoes?” I ask Big A, as we head for the shop. I have retained Big A as my sports equipment purchasing consultant, as he is already a member of the club. I am at a delicate stage in my membership application and I would not want people to laugh at me because I have unfashionable shoes.

The assistant brings out four boxes of different bowls shoes. Short Tony and I examine them critically.

“These ones,” says the helpful lady, “are exactly the same as those ones, but have velcro rather than laces.”

We don’t try those on.

In the end, both Short Tony and I purchase the most expensive pair. When you are playing sport, it is important to have the best equipment, so that you perform to your optimum. Having good footwear can help you avoid problems such as shin splints, etc. We leave the shop, pleased with our selection.

All in all it has been a very sporty day. We retire to the Village Pub to prepare ourselves for the big race.