With the garden carpeted white, the local schools closed and cars sliding past in an alarming fashion, the LTLP decides to work at home.

I am happy about this, as she will probably make me some lunch. However it means sharing my important working space with her. I sternly warn that she is not allowed to disturb my concentration whilst I get on with my Important Things.

“Oh – just look at the rabbits!” she exclaims, as they frolic in the snow. “Look look look!!!”

I frown into the PC screen, labouring to grasp a document that has been sent to me by a consultant as [quote] “it may be of some help”.

The first sentence reads – and I’m not making one word of this up:

“In assessing which is the better medium it is of paramount importance to determine the tasks it is designed to support as numerous empirical studies have confirmed that technology is but an enabling tool that will fail if applied in an environment for which it is ill suited.”

“A mouse!!! There’s a little mouse eating the nuts from the bird feeder!!!”

Sure enough, a small wood mouse is gorging itself accordingly as described.

Several cute-animal-related interruptions follow until I am close to despair. I am trying to juggle a real-life children’s wildlife programme with a report that has clearly been written by an over-paid buffoon to whom, in a two-way contest to write the best plain and simple note to the milkman, the small wood mouse would present a serious challenge.

Just as there are 0898 telephone numbers that generate hilarious ‘prank’ calls to one’s friends, I’m sure there are companies that create joke documents like this in order to fool people like me. Well if you are laughing then I don’t think it is funny.

I close the PC screen and stomp off to watch Mr Blair and Mr Howard on the telly.