People who bought me a birthday present:

  • The in-laws (2 soft rock guitar tab books/hand-knitted jumper)

  • Generous friends (decanter)

  • My mum and dad (2 pairs of pants, sizes XL and L)

  • Ms Jones (Internet fridge (awaiting delivery))

  • The Cheerful Builder (bottle of wine)

  • My grandmother (paying for future services of piano delivery man)

People who did not buy me a birthday present:

  • The LTLP (unable to find suitable purchase)

  • My sister (‘to follow’)

  • Rest of family (live abroad therefore excused)

  • Everybody else in world (do not know me/do know me but did not know it was my birthday/do not like me enough to buy me a birthday present/are imaginary internet people/live abroad therefore excused)

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