People who bought me a birthday present:

  • The in-laws (2 soft rock guitar tab books/hand-knitted jumper)
  • Generous friends (decanter)
  • My mum and dad (2 pairs of pants, sizes XL and L)
  • Ms Jones (Internet fridge (awaiting delivery))
  • The Cheerful Builder (bottle of wine)
  • My grandmother (paying for future services of piano delivery man)

People who did not buy me a birthday present:

  • The LTLP (unable to find suitable purchase)
  • My sister (‘to follow’)
  • Rest of family (live abroad therefore excused)
  • Everybody else in world (do not know me/do know me but did not know it was my birthday/do not like me enough to buy me a birthday present/are imaginary internet people/live abroad therefore excused)