Introducing the LTLP.

The LTLP is waiting for me on my return from the market. “I. Am. Really. Pissed. Off.” I close the car door warily. This is not an encouraging phrase to hear, first thing on a Saturday and, more to the point, immediately after a visit to the hairdressers. Her hat…

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I write to Amazon

I write a letter to Amazon. It is not a stroppy letter, it is courteous and well-thought-out. Stroppy letters don’t work, and are written by pompous arses so they can smugly claim ‘that TOLD them!’ as they bore their golf club mates with the interminable story of their washing machine…

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I want to buy a CD

I want to buy a CD. ‘Happiness from a Distant Star’ by Animals That Swim. So I order in from Amazon. Limited availability, two in stock, one to two weeks blah blah blah. It arrives. I open it. They haven’t sent me ‘Happiness from a Distant Star’ by Animals that…

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Personal odour

I think I smell of curry. Found on Unlucky Friend’s dining table: millions of small bits of soggy paper. He had washed his driving license in his jeans pocket. We drank Guinness last night, and talked writing and music. Listened to a rarities DVD by the Doves. The Doves are…

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