The Toddler offers some baby name suggestions.

I scratch my chin. “Right. I’ll think about those.”

She turns back to the television. Being a responsible father, I do not let her watch too much television, even when I am really really bored with doing all the interactive paternal stuff. It is important that she does not grow up to be a yobbo.

Tom, the cat, smashes Spike, the dog, in the face with a big anvil.

“Hahaha!” I laugh. “It is funny. Did you see? He hit him in the face with a big anvil!”

We continue watching. It is excellent that quality programming like this is on every day, as it creates a shared experience between father and child. Jerry sets light to Tom’s tail, the cat erupting in a ball of flame.

“He put his tail on fire!!!” the Toddler announces with delight.

I am pleased with the development of her comprehension skills. Later, when it is more quiet, I go through her suggested names with the LTLP.

If it is a girl:

Daphne, Velma.

If it is a boy:

Fred, Shaggy, Scooby.


  1. No Tom or Jerry?

  2. Oddly… no.

    But I am buggered if I am going to eventually send them to a comprehensive school with a name like ‘Shaggy’.

  3. A classic English name? Penfold…

  4. How about something altogether more classical and refined… like Raphael or Donatello.

  5. Ahh, the Fred Quimby era was the best. Quimby – now there’s a name that’ll go down well at a comp.

  6. I do hope his daughter wasn’t called Virginia.

    I have just remembered that I meant to write a line in this about the excruciating ‘Tom and Jerry Tales’ which is the modern version, and utterly shite.

  7. I think those are good classic names, but rather American in flavor*. Could you not consider Dipsy or Po, which have the advantage of being suitable for either sex?

    *Yes, I know it’s misspelled. But it seemed polite in the circumstances.

  8. I think any of the below would have a nice ring;

    -Pugh (Twins)

  9. I've Been Mugged

    How about Salt, Pete, or Tantramar?

  10. You’re still free to use Darkseid and Morbius, Jonny. Don’t discount them just because they seem patently absurd at first blush.

    Also for boys: George Michael, or Meadowlark Lemon.

    For girls: Dementia (Demi), or LaSonya (pronounced Lasagna).

  11. You would have got away with it if it wasn’t for that meddlesome registrar.

  12. “JonnyB says:
    March 31st, 2010 at 5:33 pm

    Oddly… no.

    But I am buggered if I am going to eventually send them to a comprehensive school with a name like ‘Shaggy’.”

    The disturbing implication being that you somehow find “Scooby” acceptable!

  13. I went to a school with someone we called Shaggy, well, technically it was ‘Shagger’ – we thought it was an ace name. But she didn’t like it*

    *Joke courtesy of Jimmy Carr circa 2006

  14. Spongebob!

    Shaggy is a famous[?] reggae singer with a weird voice.

  15. Oh! Carolina then!

  16. Well, if she’d been watching Sesame Street you’d have Bert (or even Kermit) to contend with. Now that would truly seal the child’s fate!

  17. Upsy Daisy for a girl and Iggle Piggle for a boy?

  18. Dexter or DeeDee. Both go well with Marsh. And their Dad’s nowhere to be seen, ever. It was meant to be, I tell you…

  19. Clementine (why not?)

    Or Boudicca. When I heard recently that the two offspring of that conductor (and his wife who shuffled off this mortal coil together) were named Caractacus and Boudicca, I couldn’t think of anything to say for a long time.

    Or a name beginning with E: Elodie, Eleanor, Esther, Emmanuel, Eeyore …

  20. There’s a little boy called Spike at the village school. His real name, not a nickname.

  21. Are you not planning to keep the Blake’s 7 theme going then?

  22. Following Ivan’s theme how about Much Binding In The ?
    You had to be there.

  23. If we’re going by surname, Pat, let’s go the whole hog and call the little shaver Soggy Bottom.

  24. Personally I believe that naming a child limits its potential and inscribes upon its delicate psyche the neuroses of its parents which are, inevitably, revealed through the oppressive burden of “Jim” or “Sarah.” This is why my children are known only by rude hand gestures – which has the additional benefit of letting them grow up believing the entire world knows and loves them.

  25. What about ‘Hackney’?

  26. In a literary vein:


    All perfectly good literary names and ones unlikely to be duplicated, causing the confusion of “BrittanyA” “BrittanyB” and “BrittanyQ” in the same classroom.

  27. Girl: Gunilla Boy: Brynolf. Now that´s some Swedish names though…

  28. I've Been Mugged






    Anthony Earnest

  29. • Agrava
    • Albion
    • Aristo
    • Atlay
    • Auron
    o Beta V
    • Betafarl
    • Bucol II
    • Caspar
    o Centero
    o Cephlon
    • Chenga
    • Crandor


  30. The Hillbilly Bears too, Jonny. YouTube them on the Banana Splits show. Grandsons already converted here. One of them even calls me ‘Granpaw’. Heh-heh-heh!

  31. The Banana Splits are still going????????

    Where? Where?

  32. YouTube, Mac.

    Although having said that I can only find clips on there now. Leave it with me. I’ll do some hunting.

  33. Looks like the full episodes were pulled because they are out on dvd, but you can still search for component parts, i.e. Hillbilly Bears, and unearth some real treats.

  34. These are all really good suggestions, alth… NO WHAT AM I SAYING THEY ARE RUBBISH SUGGESTIONS ALL OF THEM.

    I did honestly think (if it were a girl) of ‘Belle’, as I like the name. But then I realised that she would sound too much like a detention centre.

  35. PS Happy late Easter everybody!!!

  36. ‘Belle’, as I like the name. But then I realised that she would sound too much like a detention centre.

    LOL LOL – am I the only one to “get” this? The 380 goes there, Mondays to Fridays. (Indigo, in saaarf London).

  37. Fret not Indigo – you were not the only one and I’m a northerner:)

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  39. “I woke up and really needed a wee.”
    Happens to me everynight – must be my age!

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