We go to Chattanooga.

Across Tennessee. By Kia.

“It’s a train carriage!!!” I reveal in delight.

We look around our accommodation which is, indeed, a train carriage. I have always been very interested in railway history, and I can’t think of anything much better than staying in a real live train carriage, especially in Chattanooga, which has a long-established relationship with the choo-choo.

“Just like I showed you on the ‘what we are going to do on our holidays’ PowerPoint presentation,” I add.

The LTLP gives me a Look.

“And our itinerary for the day…” I leave a short teasing pause, like they do on the reality shows, “the International Tow Truck Museum and Hall of Fame!”

I pull out a leaflet. “It has loads of tow trucks on display,” I explain.

We have a short chat about the direction that our holiday is taking.

“There is also a special wall, where they commemorate the people who have lost their lives in the course of vehicle recovery,” I urge. “The Toddler will really be moved by it.”

We do not go to the International Tow Truck Museum and Hall of Fame.

Later on, we are walking around some enormous natural caves, featuring giant floodlit montages of dozens upon dozens of nursery rhymes and childrens’ stories. The Toddler pretends to be excited and delighted, so as not to make us feel bad. But I am sorry that she has missed her chance to see the vintage tow trucks.

It is a shame. But the following day we plan to go to Nashville. It is a challenge to find tourist attractions that are suitable for the whole family, but I know that there is one there that everybody will love.

9 Comments

  1. I feel like I am there with you JB. Don’t let them spoil your holiday…

  2. Hullo everyone.

    I’m turning comments off, as we’re moving servers due to some recent ‘issues’.

    Will switch them back on when we’re at home in our new place…

  3. Right! I have turned comments back on. We shall see what happens.

  4. I totally would have backed you on tow trucks over caves, Jonny.

  5. You should’ve tried the Tuckaleechee caverns in Townsend, seeing as you were already in Tennessee. Not only are they majestic and awe-inspiring, but their notorious instability and frequent rock-slides regularly trap the fatter and slower-moving members of a tour party for weeks at a time, leaving their nimbler spouses and children to enjoy a proper holiday while the rescuers lethargically dig you out.

    Did I say “you”? I meant to say “the fat sloths”. Wouldn’t want to get those two categories mixed up, would we?

  6. Natural selection is really something to behold, isn’t it, Ivan?

    Science teachers in Tennessee could use Jonny’s embarrassing fate as proof of Darwinism at work, thereby burying the case for creationism once and for all.

  7. You could’ve argued that when little American children go to England, they visit The Tower of London, so it’s only fair that the Toddler sees the International Tow Truck Museum and Hall of Fame.

  8. Hmmm
    Nashville next.
    I’ve spent some time in Nashville. There are SOOOOOOOOOOOO many Jonny-ish type places to visit there. I’m hoping it isn’t something as standardly boring as the Grand Ole’ Oprey.

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