I gaze in amazement at the majesty of the Niagara Falls.
“They are really amazing and majestic,” I comment to the LTLP. The Toddler does not respond, as she is transfixed by a small fountain that is by the side of the street.
The Niagara Falls are like the Canadian version of the Norfolk Broads, but with more gravity and even more retired people. No matter how touristy the place gets, it retains an essential beauty that cannot be spoilt by expensive tat and hundreds of idiots taking photographs.
I take a photograph. I am pleased with my Norfolk Broads analogy. I love coming up with new analogies. Coming up with an analogy is like… I tail off, as I cannot think of anything suitable. As you stand leaning over the fence, you are able to look straight down to witness the thousands of tons of water sucked on and then crashing into the raging maelstrom far, far below. There is a sign. It reads ‘Danger – do not climb over this fence’.
Lots of people warned me ‘don’t go to Niagara Falls as it is tacky’. They are prejudiced. If you lived in Norfolk, YOU would realise quite how exciting it is to see a great big fuck-off fibreglass dinosaur atop a ‘Dinorama 4-D Dinosaur Experience’ attraction. We have nothing like that, if you do not count the small art gallery in the Village. In fact, the Falls are quite tasteful, once you get to them.
Standing in this very typical Canadian town, it is possible to realise how this sparsely-populated country produced more than its fair share of the great artists – Cohen and lang, Mitchell, Young and Shatner. There is an easy air that inspires one. But we are not in Quebec yet – we have been diverted. We head back to the PikeyLodge to continue our mission.