“It may not be from Norwich,” says Nicholas Parsons. “But it is still the quiz of the week!!!”

We settle back into the sofas in high excitement. I am not really ‘up’ on modern video games and in fact I did not know at all that you could do them on a DVD player.

Nicholas Parsons explains the rules. The DVD player is quite slow, so at the end of this bit his face freezes for some seconds whilst the next bit gets ready. It is disconcerting. Or it might not be the DVD player. I have not met Nicholas Parsons since the debacle a few years ago; he might be like that now in real life, with his face freezing at the end of each sentence. I do not know.

“Congratulations! That’s right!” [Freeze].

“Now it is the turn of Player Two.” [Freeze].

An hour passes. Short Tony and I match each other question for question.

‘Correct!’ – a graphic zooms into view and sits there for a few seconds.

“Now it’s time for Round Two!” [Freeze].

“This time you’ll be answering questions on – Where in the World?” [Freeze].

Several days pass. Nicholas Parsons’s strange face-freezing disease gets no better. The ‘correct’ and ‘bad luck’ graphics become part of our lives. By November 2025 we are on round four and so have answered (as far as I can remember) fifteen questions each. By November 2502, our descendants have reached the ‘quickfire round’, which lasts until the millennium celebrations in 2999. Worryingly, medical scientists still haven’t found a cure for the face-freezing disease, which bodes ill for cancer, alzheimers etc. I win the quickfire round and take the spoils!!!

“Congratulations!” says Nicholas Parsons. “The winner is,” [freeze] “player one!” [freeze].

“If you’ve enjoyed this, why not treat yourself to another game?”

Nicholas Parsons’s face freezes one last time. The screen reads ‘Press Select to start’.

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