Insomnifying me with its remorseless hotness!!!

I lie, sticky in my own sweat, approaching desperation. When I can’t sleep I tend to get all annoyed and cross that I can’t sleep, which then makes it difficult to sleep. I keep my eyes closed determinedly, my annoyed and cross state (see above) causing my heart to beat faster and faster. It is the only sound in the room, filling my ears with its smug atrial taunt.


The LTLP starts to snore gently. She always starts gently, before reaching her usual state, which is like an elephant with a slight cold attempting to master the euphonium.

I let out a deep, deep sigh. The ‘gentle’ stage of snoring passes quickly. My heart gets upset with the aural competition and notches up a notch. Bodomm-bodomm-bodomm-BODOMM.

A particularly loud snort causes my patience to snap. I gather up some things and make for the spare room. The bed, as I had forgotten, is piled high with bags and cases that I have no possibility of relocating. Miserably, crossly and hotly, I return to the master bedroom.

“Why are you walking around with your bear?” hisses a voice from the bed.

“I am TRYING,” I reply, in capital letters, “to find somewhere to sleep.”

“Well just be a bit more quiet. You are keeping me awake.”

The heat becomes hotter. I lie and swelter beside the duvet, praying for the release of sleep.

Continued tomorrow.