We go on an outing!!!
The baby has been grizzling and whinging like a Digby Jones on tax return day, so we decide to pack up our things and head for the seaside. Hoora for the seaside!!! We abandon the car ‘on the front’ and walk out into the 100000mph Arctic gale chiz chiz.
Although ‘on the front’, it’s low tide so we’re only slightly closer to the sea than we would have been had we visited, say, the centre of Birmingham. It churns in a maelstrom of grey out there somewhere, towards Belgium. I immediately take refuge in the car once more whilst the LTLP totters off to buy some fish and chips.
Fish and chips!!! Is there anything better than fish and chips on a winter’s day? Or, more to the point, fish and chips on a winter’s day at the seaside. The only thing I can really think of would be fish and chips on a winter’s day at the seaside served on some women’s breasts, but I think this is unlikely to happen, as it is so cold.
By this point Baby Servalan is asleep, showing ingratitude for taking her on such an exciting outing. She is very blasé. I guess if you enjoy your dinner served on some women’s breasts on a daily basis, then you aren’t really bothered about the odd helping of fish and chips. (Note that this is because she is a baby, not because she is a lesbain) (although it would not be a problem at all if she did turn out to be a lesbain, as it is legal now).
We eat our fish and chips. I wrestle with the car seat, which transforms magically into a pram like on the popular children’s TV show ‘Transformers’. We wheel her up and down past a few shops, whilst she takes no interest whatsoever.