Many thanks to Salvadore for taking over once more.

It seemed only right that he should have finished the series of posts planned before he was so rudely interrupted. With myself having been called into London for a couple of days at short notice, it was an ideal arrangement.

I was a bit loath to leave the thousands of small white maggoty things that had invaded my larder, and all the food therein, during my week away. However this was pushed to the back of my mind when I found that a project that is my largest single source of income is clearly going, as we say in the Important World of Creativity ‘tits up’, with me set to fulfil the traditional role of ‘the one a long way away who can be blamed because that won’t require everybody else to face up to their own institutional incapableness’.

Obviously I would have been in better form for my meeting had a problem with a hotel not forced me to spend the night sleeping on a floor. I can’t grumble however, as many people sleep on floors all the time, and the onset of what would prove to be lengthy bouts of firstly sinusitis and then food poisoning put it all into perspective anyway.

I returned to Norfolk on Friday, presenting my suit at the village shop (dry cleaning division) and instructing them to remove the spatters of blood obtained during my – possibly unwise – intervention in a particularly cheery post-pub mugging the previous night. I should reassure that the blood was the other chap’s, perhaps the most rubbish mugger in the entire history of that activity, who took one look at me, started an exchange of pleasantries then fell off the kerb, injuring himself badly in the process. But it was a nice suit and one of which I was fond.

Back home, a message from the LTLP explained that she’d spent the evening in A&E herself, having accidentally nailed her hand to the garden wall.

By Saturday the food poisoning was reaching its climax, but, it being too late to decently drop out of the cricket team, I packed several mountains of toilet roll and turned up for the game. Fortunately the fresh air seemed to settle things down, although I had to call a halt when my calf muscle pinged again and I found myself unable to walk.

So as you see, I have been getting back to normality here. I have a bit of a backlog to clear, then I will be returning to my usual role as the Venerable Bede of North West Norfolk.

Until then, please talk amongst yourselves.