My birthday present has arrived!!!

It is a bit late, but that is what happens when your own loved ones do not think about your birthday and only order things by mail order the day before. But I am not bitter.

I have always been depressed and anxious about birthdays. From an early age, when the other children pointed and laughed at me at birthday parties and my mother produced sub-standard giveaway bags, they have been a source of regret rather than celebration.

At eighteen I really started to feel it – it was horrible. It might have been reaching the age of majority that got me so down, or it might have been the enormously fat stripper that my so-called friends had organised. I was engulfed by something, either way.

Twenty was worse – I couldn’t be a teenager any more. Twenty-one also, especially as the lady I was seeing at the time was thirty-five and had no sympathy at all. I was just a trophy to her, that’s all I was, like the gardening boy off Desperate Housewives, but with a mullet.

The mid-twenties were difficult, then it was a long downward spiral until my thirtieth. For this, I stayed at home, alone. The LTLP was away (no, she was not the same lady from my twenty-first) (or the fat stripper). So I sort of sat there on my own listening to Leonard Cohen records.

But the past couple of years have been different. No worries, no gloom. I feel younger now than I have done for ages. I also found out from a friend that I am actually a year younger than I thought, so that is good news. Something about living here has given me this immense new lease of life, and I have regained my funkiness and in-ness with the kids.

I unwrap my new bowls with care. Although they are solid, you must take great care not to damage them as this could affect the weighting. They are smooth, shiny and have rabbit logos on them, which is a nice touch.

The sun is shining and it is a beautiful day.