Another rabbit insurgence.

There – munching on a pot plant, stuffing his insolent rabbity face.

I stare at him through the French windows. (French windows are like normal windows, only oral.)

There is a fundamental lack of understanding between us that I can solve either by brute force or by diplomacy. I’d prefer to do the latter, however communicating with the rabbit kingdom is proving tough. I cannot get my ‘do not eat the plants’ message across.

I have a brainwave and start preparing a PowerPoint presentation.

What I’ll do is start it off with images of a human and a rabbit side by side. “A presentation to – THE RABBITS”. Then I’ll do a couple of ‘Key objectives for today’ slides and a bit of background on how we’ve coexisted peacefully for the past few years.

I’ll probably get the letters flying in from the left with a typewriter noise. That is always useful. Then I’ll conclude with a recap of what we’ve discussed and a ‘Thank you for listening’ slide.

I will then hand out copies of the presentation. (It is important to do this after I have finished as otherwise they will read them first and not concentrate on what I am saying).

There will be an opportunity for questions.

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