Sinister developments.

I saw the first poster a couple of weeks ago, drawing-pinned up in the Post Office.

The second appeared soon afterwards, and yesterday there was a third on the village noticeboard.


I previously recounted the tale of the cat-shooting maniac, which made the national press and caused villagers to live in fear.

Now there are four more cats missing. This seems a bit of a coincidence.

I have been extremely alert since I got my leaflet from the government, so I went indoors and switched the telly on as instructed. Nothing on the local news.

Then, this morning, as I sat at the PC to write this, I glanced out through the french windows (‘freedom windows’, if you’re in Texas) and guess what I saw?

I NEVER have cats in the garden. Lots of rabbits, pheasants, moles, the odd shrew, an owl, next-door’s dog. No cats.

It was black and white and sitting on the lawn. I wanted to see if it had a name tag, so I ran outside in my pants, but it looked scared and alarmed and shot off into the fields.

Why was it here?

Now I am worried that people will think I have something to do with the vanishings.

But as Billy Joel proclaimed: ‘I am an Innocent Man’!

And who are THEY to contradict the words of the great protest singers?