I want to buy a CD. ‘Happiness from a Distant Star’ by Animals That Swim.

So I order in from Amazon. Limited availability, two in stock, one to two weeks blah blah blah.

It arrives. I open it. They haven’t sent me ‘Happiness from a Distant Star’ by Animals that Swim. They’ve sent me ‘Punchbag’ by The Bees. I didn’t want ‘Punchbag’ by The Bees. I wanted ‘Happiness from a Distant Star’ by Animals that Swim.

I have an old git moment. There could be no possible confusion between the two products. ‘Punchbag’ isn’t even a long-player.

I wrap it up again in the original packaging, working myself up into righteous anger. I take it to the post office and send it off. The post office is actually only three hundred yards from my home, but if it had been a long way away and if I were disabled then this would have been a real problem. I send Amazon an email.

Nothing happens for a couple of weeks. Then I notice that ‘Happiness from a Distant Star’ by Animals that Swim has reappeared against my outstanding orders, zero rated. They are sending me another, apparently.

The package arrives. I open it.

The box does not contain ‘Happiness from a Distant Star’ by Animals that Swim. It contains ‘Punchbag’ by The Bees.