I look up from my lap top computer, which I have casually sneaked a peek at in the midst of emptying the dishwasher.

“Nothing!”

“You’re not doing nothing! You’re doing something!”

“I’m just footling,” I explain.

“Stop footling. You’re always footling.”

“I’m not footling,” I clarify.

“What are you doing then?”

I close the lap top screen. “Somebody sent me an email,” I explain. “Which I was – dealing with.”

“Footling.”

“It was an email!” I protest.

“Can’t you just save your footling until we’re not on holiday?” she demands.

“But when I’m on holiday is when I have time for footling!” I reprotest. “When I’m not on holiday, I’m busy doing… stuff. And stuff.”

The LTLP fixes me with a glare.

The Private Secret Diary remains closed for the Christmas and New Year Holidays. It will return next week, barring illness/travel problems on the route out of the Village towards where she works.